the big birthday countdown, one...ZERO!!!!!!

this kind of loses it's excitement when you skip the final day LOL.

E is for easy-going.

your entry INTO this world was a piece of cake...up until the last minutes...when you got stuck...and we were whisked off to an operating room. daddy said i looked like the exorcist at that point.

after some serious forcep action you arrived...looking pretty darn frightening yourself LOL.

you STILL have a teeny scar next to your eye...it's mostly noticeable when you're sick.

but ever SINCE that traumatic entrance, you've made life easy on your momma.

and i thank you for that.

"you is kind. you is smart. you is important."

and i love you dearly.

happy, happy eighteen dude. so excited to see what the years ahead have in store for you.

xoxo.

the big birthday countdown, TWO!!!!

so i wasn't quite sure yet what i was going to do for the LETTER E.

until...........

i started singing LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO today. completely out of the blue. because that's what i do.
and austin...poor austin...couldn't get past the fact that this is NOT a happy little children's song.
so E is for EMPATHY.

empathy: being aware of and sharing another person's feelings, experiences, and emotions.

love you, you big softie. now, off to find a field mice and BOP it on the head. hee hee.

the big birthday countdown, THREE!!!

this was an easy one.
L is for LOVED.
there really aren't even words to say HOW MUCH YOU ARE LOVED. so instead i'm just going to post some pics of your sweet smiling face through the years.

so so very glad that God blessed us with you. you are such a great kid and we love you more than you love gundam. :)

the big birthday countdown, FOUR...

getting closer dude!

N is for NONSTICK.

this quality must come from your father. LOL. and it's a good quality to have. maybe it's a guy thing?

but you easily let things go. stuff that could potentially really bother you...you just let it roll off of you.

you're like teflon.

but that starts with a T. so instead, you're nonstick :)

the big birthday countdown, FIVE!

So we're moving on to the I in Austin.

I is for INCONSPICUOUS TAPPER.

what???????????

my poor children. i have influenced them in ways that go far beyond what most can see.

we play the punchbuggy game. you see a punchbuggy? you punch someone. really, we don't hit too hard. but i am an EXPERT punchbuggy finder and austin is usually riding in front with me and he takes a beating.

when i am alone & see a bug, i cannot help it. it MUST be acknowledged. so i punch myself. not really a punch. more of a tap. as in, i see it, i've acknowledged it, i'm moving on.

yesterday austin came home from school and said he saw soooooo many bugs and wished i'd been with him. i had to ask:

'austin, when you're alone...and you see one...what do you do? let's say you're walking into target and there's one in the parking lot?'

HE IS HIS MOTHER'S CHILD.

his answer: he does a quick inconspicuous tap. he can't help himself.

LOLOLOLOLOL.

pray for my kids ;)

the big birthday countdown, SEVEN! SIX!

the countdown continues (whether or not i actually blog or not...which didn't happen yesterday).
we're on to S.

S is for SPIELBERG fan :)
austin, you were one SERIOUS dinosaur lover! i think it may have even bordered on obsession at some point LOL. they were all you talked about, all you would draw, all you would play with, all you could THINK ABOUT.


you decided to take it upon yourself to write a letter to steven spielberg. i must say i'm quite impressed that you spelled his name correctly. i actually just googled it to check the spelling bc i wasn't sure if your letter was right or not. i shouldn't have doubted that eight year old you :)



sadly, mr. spielberg didn't call (um, maybe bc your mother filed the letter instead of sending it? oops).
**********

T is for THOUGHTFUL.
i love this about you.

i've watched as you have rushed ahead to open a door for someone (and no, it's not always because it's for some cute young girl...most of the time it's for some cute old lady :)

i've noticed when you've gone the extra mile to keep the boys busy if i've got a lot going on.

i've paid attention (whether you realize it or not) when you have bent over backwards to accomodate your bossy little sister ;)

i love that you care deeply about the people who are in your life. you share their joys and you carry their pain.

your thoughtfulness will take you far.


"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” -- margaret mead

the big birthday countdown. NINE, EIGHT!!!

yeah, yeah...so i may have bitten off more than i can chew by trying to do this daily for ten days in a row. case in point...cramming in yesterday & today before the clock strikes twelve. i feel like cinderella. only without the fancy dress. and the castle. and the glass shoes. and the mice.

ohhhhh, thank GOD there are no talking mice. because that's the LAST thing i need today. (dear God, please don't let me have dreams of talking mice. i promise i'll try to be good).

okay, so back to austin.

R (for robert) was also for respectful.

A is a no-brainer. A is for ARTISTIC.

dude, i swear, from the time you were old enough to hold a crayon you've been drawing stuff that blows my mind. it's in your blood.

i love that your first 'real' job was at a sign shop...that's what your great grandfather did for a living. back before computers...and printers...probably back before dinosaurs. LOL.

as you continue to grow in your art skills, i continue to just be in AWE (oooh, look, another A). i mean, i can draw a cute cartoon bird. and maybe some puffy clouds. but YOU, my son, are quite the artist.

still laughing at the eye glasses lady who wanted you to get the protective coating on your new glasses...

eyeglass lady: 'son, you really should get it. it's just good to have for boys.'

me: 'he's an artist.'

eyeglass lady (looking at you): 'but what about when you play basketball?'

me: 'he's more likely to poke himself in the eye with a pencil.'

hee hee hee. i love that you KNOW this. and you OWN it. you aren't afraid to admit it. A is NOT for athlete. not that you didn't do soccer or t-ball...or even remember the diving class...that high dive was SCARY...but it just wasn't what YOU wanted to do.

and i LOVE that you are secure in that. and so i'll phase right into the next letter since i skipped yesterday.

U is for UNPHASED.

and you, son, are SO unphased by the things that bug most kids your age. thank you for that. it makes my life (and your dads) a little easier. LOL...everyone warned us about what it was going to be like to have teens in the house.

and maybe you are just UNUSUAL (ooooooh, see what i just did there?)...you ARE unusual...but it's in a good way :)

don't ever succomb to the pressure to be anyone but who YOU are.

because YOU, robert austin lee, are perfect just the way you are.

(now, go trim your fingernails).

hee hee.

fessing up. guilty of a T.U.I.

yes. that's right. i did it. i was typing under the influence. nyquil.



lesson learned: i'll never do it again. i promise.

omg. so i NEVER take medicine when i'm sick. i hate how it makes me feel. but THIS TIME, this time was different. i just had to. and it helped so much that i have taken it for a couple days in a row now. who knew drugs could be so helpful?

but one SHOULD NOT respond passionately in written form while under the influence. and that's exactly what i did. (sorry!).

i got this email. and i had some strong thoughts. and so i replied. only, in my nyquil induced haze, it appears i have hit the reply to ALL button.

since it's already out there to some extent i'm just going to completely out myself. because even now, after the nyquil has worn off, i still think the same things. i just would not have normally sent it out there to everyone on the list.

agree with me. disagree with me. it's how i feel. and right now (thanks to the nyquil), i'm feeling lots better. and now i want a ho-ho. hee hee.

*********
the above referenced email:

Young Texas girl figures it out.
This was written by a 21 yrs. old female who gets it. It's her future she’s worried about and this is how she feels about the social welfare big government state that she’s being forced to live in!
These solutions are just common sense in her opinion. This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX Nov 18, 2010

Put me in charge . . . Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..”


Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self-esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self-esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.


Now, if you have the guts - PASS IT ON...

******


here are some thoughts from this 45 year old ex-texan who DOESN'T have it all figured out...and doesn't pretend to :)

i GET the premise of this...i DO.

but i think it's waaaaaay too easy to just put everyone into categories...put them in boxes.

not EVERYONE who is receiving government help is lazy...or tattooed...or pierced...or having baby after baby.

even though i'm not currently receiving financial aid from the government, i have in the past. and it wasn't because of "bad choices," it was because of bad circumstances :(

if the government tried to tell me what i could and couldn't do during that time period of my life (including taking away my right to vote?????) i just can't even imagine...

if you walk in my house right now, you would NOT be able to tell that we are financially struggling...my kids have an xbox. it was a gift from bobby's mom. i have gorgeous family photos all over the walls. my best friend is a professional photographer who gifts them to me. is it fair to judge me for that?

is it fair to judge someone who has tattoos all over their body? how do we know they don't do it themselves? or have a best friend who does it for them? how do we know that the person in line ahead of us with the food stamps who is buying ho-hos isn't buying them for their child who is having a birthday and all they asked for is ho-hos?

i realize i'm stretching a bit :) LOL. but my POINT is that you can't always tell...i personally don't think it's so black and white.

maybe because i've been there. maybe because this feels personal to me.

last thought: if they'd sterilized me because i had carson on medicaid (because bobby was laid off weeks before september 11 and couldn't find work) sweet sweet hudson would not exist?

and that thought makes me sad.

the people who take advantage of the system are WRONG. they need Jesus. but there are people who TRULY DO NEED the system...and while some of the rules need to change & there SHOULD be some accountability in place, i don't think it's fair to generalize everyone and go to such extremes as this young girl in texas thinks we should.

she should be careful...at 21 it's easy to think that nothing bad will ever happen to you...she may someday find herself in a place where she wishes there were some compassion for her.

the big birthday countdown. TEN!

ten days until austin turns EIGHTEEN.

i know every parent says it, but there's a reason...it's true!!!! IT FEELS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY he was little.

seriously. time goes so fast. and it's kind of surreal for me as i drive around town because this is where he was born. this is where he spent the first couple years. i worked close by...we took him to the beach...now HE'S looking for work close by...and he's going to the beach without us LOL.

in honor of R. AUSTIN LEE (did you know austin is his MIDDLE name?), here goes my ten day tribute:

R is for ROBERT. but it's also for RESPECTFUL.

it's one of your best traits, bud. thank you for respecting me. for respecting your dad. for respecting the rules...ours as well as all the other ones that affect you.

you are SUCH a good kid and i'm proud to call you son.

and know that just because this first one was all mushy doesn't mean that the next nine days won't hold some sarcastic wit or some moments where i totally make fun of you :) that's my job. i encourage you...and i keep you humble. hee hee.

xoxo.

a conversation between mother and son...

driving down the road today and had THIS conversation:
me: what time is it?
austin: um, i think it's like 4:00. it was 3:55 a minute ago.
both of us: so it's 3:56?
followed by lots and lots of laughter.
***

thank you austin for taking over as the token blonde in our family. i'm gladly relinquishing my title to you.

a random post to welcome in 2012

and yeah, yeah, i know we're already ten days into it...so much for thinking i'd be a good little blogger and type a little every day. obviously that hasn't happened.

not only am i not being a good little blogger, but lately the daily stress has taken it's toll on me. something you need to know about me: when i'm stressed out sometimes i think bad words. i mean, i don't SAY them. but i'm not gonna lie. i can hear them inside my head. is it just as bad to have THOUGHT them if they aren't verbalized? probably...but i'm just being real, you know.

so last night i heard something that a friend was going through and it shocked me...i mean, you JUST NEVER KNOW what battles someone is fighting. love your friends, folks. smile. give hugs. say something nice. make people glad that they encountered you. you just never know when someone needs a little extra cheer.anyhow, my very first thought was HOLY...well...you know. insert blushing face here.


that's not even a phrase i normally think...or hear...and i don't ever say it. i swear. (pun intended...hee hee). but it was just the first thing that popped into my head.

after i had absorbed what this person had shared, i prayed for them (see, i'm not ALL bad???????). and then as i tried to go to sleep my mind started to wander.

i felt bad for thinking the whole holy bleep thing. and then i thought, what the heck (see, i'm being nice) does that even MEAN?

and that got me started on this next train of thought: if Jesus was completely God and completely man, do you think he had to...well...you know????? i mean, because that WOULD be holy (bleep). i mean he HAD to have, right? otherwise it would have been a major giveaway to all the other moms in the 'hood that something was different about Jesus right from the get go.

and if he DID, then was he ever sick? did Jesus get colds? did Jesus get the stomach bug? did Jesus ever get a zit? have a bad hair day? did Jesus have chicken pox? were chicken pox even around back then? did Jesus ever rough house and get a broken bone? if so, could he heal it himself? did people back then say GOD BLESS YOU when they sneezed? or is that a more current trend in common courtesy?

then i started thinking about how VERY random all of these thoughts were...and that's when it hit me that the word RAN-DOM and the word WIS-DOM both end in DUMB.

and that's when i decided i should probably really try to get some sleep because i was losing it.

so there you go. happy new year from me to you :)

may you never have to live a moment inside my brain.

lol.

xoxo.