T is for TWENTY...

TWENTY years ago today i said i do...for better or worse...in sickness and in health...for richer or poorer...

as a young naive bride, it was sort of 'blah blah blah...better...health...richer...'

i might, possibly, have skimmed over the 'worse...health...poorer...' part. LOL.

two decades later i can say that we have experienced some crazy stuff...and i can only imagine what the next two decades hold.
we've had mountain top experiences...but we've had our valleys too.



we've traveled the world...and we've been homebodies.



we've monkeyed around :)




we've laughed. we've cried.



we've lived where it's HOT. we've lived where it's COLD.




we've had a LOT of changes.

but one thing that will never change:
i'm beside you all the way babe.





i love you. let's grow old together. oh wait...i think we already did. LOL.


it's definitely been a journey, hasn't it? this is probably my favorite picture of us ever (thank you stacey :) i am COMFORTABLE with you. i can be myself (you poor thing). and like the weathered couch in the photo, our marriage has been through a lot. we can choose to look at the markings and imperfections as flaws...or we can choose to look at them as added 'character.' i choose the latter. and i choose you.







update :)

first off, i've been singing this song now allllll day. if you've never heard me sing, you will not be able to feel my husband's pain. LOL.

bobby's working second shift so we had our 'date' this afternoon. we now live less than a mile from the restaurant we went to for our very first date. great memories!

S is for SON

son -- noun \ˈsən\Definition of SON
1a : a human male offspring especially of human beings
human? check.
male? check.
offspring? check.
of human beings? pretty sure. lol.

robert austin lee, it seems you fit the definition of son :)

and your father and i are so proud to call you OURS.

you bring joy to our hearts. it has been such a privilege to be chosen as your momma. you have a kind heart, a sweet spirit, a loving soul.

thank you for being such a great example to your little brothers. you are an incredible role model and i love to see how much carson looks up to you. though i have a feeling some day you may actually be looking up to HIM (he is growing like a weed!).

congratulations on your incredible night at the military awards ceremony. i won't even pretend to understand what all of it means lol. but aunt jennjer says that the one award you got is a national award and you were the only student to receive it. and that calls for a giant WAHOOOOO for you!

what a blessing it has been to have colonel overby in your life over the course of your high school years. he has been such an encourager to you and an incredible role model. i know you are going to miss him!


i was excited to get all of aunt jennjer's texts and updates through the night and only wish i could have been there too! twenty three days until we can celebrate your success in person.

i love you dude.

"My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgement and discretion. Listen, my son, and be wise. Set your heart on the right path."

proverbs 3:21, 23:19

R is for RUNNER...

alexis taylor crowe arrived in this world on may 13, 1994.
she tortured my poor sister with a horrific labor for an entire day, refusing to be born on my sister's birthday...no, she wanted a day all to herself.
and she got it :)

happy seventeenth birthday sweet alexis.


from early on you have shown fierce determination (sometimes it wasn't pretty LOL).

that determination, combined with the love & guidance your family has given you, has shaped you into an amazing young woman.


you stand head and shoulders above the crowd, literally (well, at least when you're standing next to jordan...hee hee) and figuratively.


i love how you stand your ground. i love that you aren't afraid to speak your mind. i love that you know who you are.

and who you are is wonderful.


i have loved the last few years we've had together in texas. having you nearby through your high school years has been lots of fun...and now we head into another season...pretty soon you'll be heading off to college to be a track star!




apply the same discipline, the same determination, the same effort that you use to make you a winner on the track and you will go FAR in this life.

and no matter where i am, know that i'll be cheering you on (but no one...i mean, no one...can cheer as loud as your momma...hee hee).

here are a few pics that make me smile :)

^^^then...and now:


twenty four days until you get a big ol' birthday hug from me.

can't wait.

have a happy, happy birthday & i'll have cake for you when you get here!

xoxo,

aunt wendy

the case of the disappearing Q...

apparently blogger had some maintenance stuff go on and it caused a mess and all the posts from may 12 are (supposedly) temporarily gone...but are (supposedly) going to be restored.

i sure hope so. my may 12 post happened to contain all kinds of fabulous photographs of my baby sister and i through the years :)

i'm wondering if she has connections at blogger and had the whole site crash so no one could see her mullet?

hee hee.

P is for Pondering Perplexities, Preparing, Paris and more...

probably should be sleeping right now.

but I'm not.

instead my mind is busy. filled with a jumble of thoughts that refuse to be silenced.







so here I sit...typing as quietly as I can on my LOUD clickety-clackety keyboard... hoping no one else in the house is disturbed by my need to put my thoughts 'out there' so that they aren't 'in here' anymore.
here i sit...in virginia. minus two kids. minus my friends. minus my home (though i really AM loving making this new place mine...even if it's technically not, you know?).

and i think...what the HECK? who would have thought? and, um, WHY? it has been awesome to reconnect with bobby's family. it's been a blast to drive by places familiar (and some that have changed soooo much) and be flooded with memories from the past. so much has changed. so much has stayed the same.
but back to the WHY...i have absolutely no clue. lol. and you know what? it doesn't matter. it isn't mine to know. and i'm okay with that. (well, part of me is...the other part apparently is plagued enough to not be sleeping lol).
here's the thing: it's been a tough week. we miss austin & jordan. oh so much. and so i was excited to finally be able to put a date to this temporary separation and let them know when they would be joining us. for austin this was welcome news. he is ready...he's not thrilled with the prospect of starting over...or leaving everyone & everything...but he's excited for all of us to be back together again. for jordan...well, let's just say she wasn't ready for an actual date for the end of life as she knows it.

and it broke my heart. i hate when my children are hurting. my heart feels their pain. and i wish that i could take it away. but this time, i can't. i have to trust that she's going to be okay.
and i shared with a friend how it hurts sometimes to know that this life has not always been easy on my kids...i pondered why they haven't been able to just have whatever they want...and sure, take some of it for granted...instead of feeling (even though we try to keep it to ourselves) the unknown of sometimes even knowing how we're going to put food on the table...or pay the bills...watching their dad struggle through this past season...and them being old enough to see it...to process it...i told my friend that i wished sometimes that they could just be normal kids...who get whatever they want.

and as soon as i said it, i realized: I DON'T MEAN THAT. i'm glad they aren't normal kids (no offense kiddos...i don't mean you're weirdos or anything...well...never mind...i'm sure they aren't reading this anyhow...).
look at paris hilton. she got everything she ever wanted. do i really want THAT for my kids? um, no.


i realize there are well adjusted kids out there who live a comfortable life...and this isn't meant to say that having financial security is a bad thing...
but the things we've gone through, the things we've lived...they've brought us here (well, some of us...some of us aren't here yet)...and i don't KNOW why...but they've shaped us...they've molded us...as a family...as individuals...and i am reminded of the moment that carson actually CRIED over an xbox for christmas...100% gratitude...a moment of absolute thankfulness for receiving something that was beyond what he could have hoped for.




and that makes me smile.
i've spent today working on jordan's bedroom. she gave me a general idea of what she'd like her room to look like...and she's entrusted me with the rest...i've given her a glimpse of what i'm working with but have decided that from this point on, she's going to have to wait...i'm not showing her any more...she'll have to wait for 'the big reveal' when she arrives. i cannot tell you the joy and love that is going into this room...knowing that she's struggling right now...knowing that this move is going to be so hard on her...and so as i'm preparing this place...this new place...for her...i am excited to make it as fabulous as it can possibly be...layering all sorts of little surprises into the details...my heart skips a beat when i find the PERFECT funky little addition at the thrift store (thank you God) and i just know that even though it's going to be an adjustment, she's going to have a great place for this new season...

and it makes me think about how Jesus said (and i'd put quotes here but i don't know it by heart and i may be taking it completely out of context...but hey, whatever, it's 5:07 now, you know?)...anyhow Jesus said something about going to prepare a place for us...
and THAT makes me think beyond just palaces and streets paved with gold and all that jazz...it makes me think that God knows everything...he knows what's ahead...while i sit here struggling, he's preparing a new place...just for me...for you...for us...

and i think that sometimes he (well, wait a minute...he knows everything...so okay...) so YEAH, um, all the time...he knows that there are things ahead that are going to be rough...things that are going to be opposite of what WE WANT...but things that are ultimately for our good even when we can't fathom how or why...and so, i'd like to think (and hopefully this isn't just wishful thinking) that in the same way i am getting my daughter's room ready...and personalizing her space in ways that reflect my love for her...my desire for her to feel secure, that he's doing the same for us...


i know this isn't where jordan wants to be...i want to wrap my arms around her...i want to protect her from the pain that comes along with change...

if i feel like that, how much MORE does the perfect, all-knowing, imaginative, creator of the universe God feel that way about me? about you? about us?
i would move heaven and earth for my children. i am HIS child. and so i shall try to set aside all that plagues my thoughts...and trust...that he is paving a way before me...setting me on the path that he has already prepared for me...and even though i can't see it, i trust that he is good...and that he's personalizing it just for me.

because he loves me. he loves you. he loves us.



and now, Jesus, if you are reading this, could you please please pretty please with sugar on top (is there sugar in heaven? oh gosh i hope so...) pleeeeeeease let me go to sleep now?

O is for OH HOW HE LOVES US...

do you ever feel the need to just say, 'ENOUGH????'stop. stop. NO, NO, NO!i am weighed down with a heavy heart right now. burdened for a friend. wishing that i could change their world. knowing that i can't. hoping, praying, begging for a breakthrough.

it stays with me through the day. the heaviness bears down on me in the middle of the night. i'm crying out for freedom. 'i run in the path of your commands for your TRUTH has set me free.'God, the TRUTH is that your love is the ONLY hope we have. all of our problems and momentary troubles fade if and when we are hit with the power of your love.

you LOVE us. oh how you love us. if we could just allow ourselves to believe this...to feel this...to KNOW this...to not respond as wounded children...children who have been so scarred by life...children who doubt...children who flinch as you draw near, wondering what to expect this time around...if only we could respond out of trust and a secure knowledge of your neverending love for us.if only.as i carry this burden for one that i love, i realize that you carry this burden for me too.heal us Lord. kiss our broken hearts. wipe away our tears and allow the tears that you cry for us to seep down into our wounded places, to heal us in places we didn't even realize needed healing.

oh how you love us.

allow us to believe it. for it is only in your love that we are truly free.

crying out for freedom. FREEDOM. break the chains. LET US RUN.