countdown to christmas - december 2

once upon a time
back in nineteen eighty nine,
a story was set in motion
that i shall now put into rhyme.

i lived in a rental house
with my sister and a friend.
we were right around the corner
from the infamous C.B.N.

we decided to watch a movie
on a cold december night.
we started a fire, ate some dinner,
no clue of the impending fright.

but please forgive me,
i've skipped ahead too far.
first i need to tell you
a bit about my car.

i had a sporty dodge charger,
it was black and it was quick.
but on this fateful day,
the key only made a click.




i was young and blonde
and did not know what to do.
my sister and my roommate
were also without a clue.

so i called my friend diane.
told her my car was dead.
she sent over her husband,
i was so grateful for mr. fred!

fred had me move my car.
sissy's car & mine, nose to nose.
he got out the jumper cables,
turned the key and said, 'here goes.'

ta-da, the car had started.
all was going great.
fred said to let it charge a bit,
to revive it's uncharged state.

fred went along his merry way,
sissy & friend went back inside.
it was really, REALLY cold
as i sat inside my ride.

that's when it came to me.
i had a perfect plan.
why sit outside alone
when i could be inside with the clan?

this was in the era of cassette tapes,
way before cds.
i had quite a collection
and kept them by my front seat.




fred had told me to rev my car,
about a half an hour.
this should bring it back to life,
renew it's former power.

i took the shoe box
and shoved it down,
upon the gas pedal,
down toward the ground.

i headed in the house
and we started to watch a movie.
i can't remember what it was,
but i'm sure that it was groovy.

a knock upon our door
interrupted our movie plan.
we looked out the peep-hole,
and saw an unfamiliar man.




there was no way we would answer.
the man, he was a stranger.
we tried to talk through the door.
we were afraid of danger.

he would not go away.
he came to our back door.
who was this crazy man?
he scared us to our core!

eventually the fear gave way
to what the man was saying.
he was not messing around,
the man, he wasn't playing.

my car! my car! it was on fire!
huge flames reached toward the sky.
meanwhile poor sissy's car,
nose to nose it stood right by.

this is a night i won't forget,
such a vivid memory.
sissy in her bunny slippers,
our friend praying loud as could be.




911 was called, the fire men came.
they quickly put out the mess.
then they had some questions
and i did not have to guess.




why yes, yes sir, i do know
about the box on the gas.
i put it there on purpose,
after all, i'm just a lass.

insurance actually covered it,
miracles do come true.
the damage to my sister's car
thankfully was covered too.

this was 23 years ago,
so imagine my surprise
when we drove past the rental house
with the little guys.

here i am in the driveway,
see the remains of my poor car?
stranger than fiction, i realize.
my life really IS this bizarre.