Monday, July 30, 2012

CHINESE FIRE DRILL...i don't really WANT to be in the back seat.

this evening i have searched and searched inside my head and heart for words to express myself.  and i keep coming up empty.  for anyone who KNOWS me, this should be cause for alarm.  i just have no.words.

i feel like i've been through some major ups and downs.  and it's okay.  i'm tough.  i can take it.  one of my best qualities is that i handle disappointment and setbacks with amazing grace.   most of the time.

today not so much.  i think it's the momma bear thing.  if it's ME that is being affected, i can take it.  i am woman, hear me roar.  but if it's one of my kids...well, that's just DIFFERENT.

and i knoooooow that i knooooooow that i knoooooow that they have to have their challenges too...that's life.  it's how we grow.  it's how we change.  it's how we learn to trust.

i've had a front row seat to God's faithfulness...his provision...even when it has seemed like we're certainly going to crash and burn...He's always been there.

my children have been along for this ride.  they've watched...they've seen the faithfulness...the provision...but they've seen it from the backseat...safely belted in with a buffer between them and the windshield.

right now, austin has moved to the front seat.  he knows the course he's on...and he's running into roadblocks.   and this time it's close up and personal.

there is a giant standing in his way.  but this is HIS time, HIS destiny.  and i'm going to have to trust (again) that God knows what he's doing...he's prepared the way ahead of time...and that nothing is a surprise to him.

and as i have reflected this evening, i remembered the story of david and goliath...and came back to re-read this entry.

i only hope and pray that austin is MORE THAN PREPARED for the path he is on.

we've done our best.  and now we wait, we trust.  from the BACK seat.


(G is for GOLIATH, GIANT from GATH)...originally posted 02.07.11

it's been awhile since i've read the story of david & goliath...but sunday i re-read it and was struck by some things in the story that give me some hope...some i face the giants in my own life.

here's a completely paraphrased version :)

there's this huuuuge giant named goliath...he's almost ten feet tall. his armor alone weighs over 126 pounds. good golly. this is one tough dude, right?

he starts picking on the israelites & wants one of them to have courage enough to fight him. if he wins, he & his posse own the israelites. but if they take HIM down, they get to be top dog.

meanwhile, there's this family whose mother was brave enough to have EIGHT boys (no telling how many girls were born in between those boys...hats off to her...can you EVEN imagine?).

a bunch of the brothers are off to war and are in the camp that is being challenged by the giant. david is the youngest. he stays home & helps his dad take care of the day dad tells david that he wants him to take some cheese & bread down to the brothers & their commanders.

when the father asked david, he set out to go RIGHT AWAY. he even was responsible enough to make sure someone took over his chores while he was gone...(doesn't sound much like the youngest around these parts LOL).

the giant has been taunting these guys for forty days when little david shows up. the brothers are annoyed by david's arrival and think he's shown up just for a front row seat to the blood & gore.

nope. instead, david goes to the head honcho & says he'll take the giant down...he's fought bears & lions to protect the sheep...he can handle this guy. the king thinks he's crazy but lets him. what do they have to lose, right?

the king wants david to be safe and makes david put on his armor. it's waaay too awkward. david says NO WAY and goes & picks out five stones and goes off to fight goliath.

of course, the giant thinks this is laughable. til david whacks him in the head with the very first rock. down. dead. david uses goliath's own sword to cut the giant's head off. and i'm a little grossed out by the fact that david totes that head around with him for the rest of the story...JUST LIKE A BOY. lol.

sooooooo, what on earth does this have to do with anything?

well, several things struck me (not as hard as the rock that struck goliath...hee hee).

  • when david's father asked him to run some food over to his brothers and check in on them, he DID IT. he didn't question his dad. he didn't whine...didn't grumble about the inconvenience of it. he just DID it.

  • he arrived JUST IN TIME. he got there RIGHT when he needed to. he THOUGHT he was going for a mundane task...but GOD KNEW that there was a purpose for this young boy.

  • his brothers rolled their eyes at him...they judged his motives...they questioned his judgement.

  • when david said he was going to step out and do this, others tried to give him their advice...tried to protect him...tried to get him to armor up...but what worked for THEM was AWKWARD for david...he was not comfortable in another man's wasn't who he was.

  • david took the things that came naturally to him and went with that. he knew who he was...what his strengths were...he took all that had been put into him over his lifetime and trusted that God would give him the strength and protection he needed.

  • he knocked goliath out with the FIRST rock. he was MORE than prepared for the task he had to do. he went into the battle with everything he needed and MORE. MORE. he had MORE THAN HE NEEDED. extra rocks!

this really speaks to me. we are facing this move...this HUGE HUGE HUGE move for our family, our kids...and i want to be more like david...

i want to trust that God has prepared our family for this...that he KNOWS what we need...and that if we rely on HIM, that he will GET US WHERE WE NEED TO BE, at the time we need to be there, FOR THE PURPOSES HE HAS FOR US.

and what works for some may not for others. we have background, history, that is personalized just for us. and we have to trust that the God who has brought us to this point is going to go before us on this next phase of the journey.

just one thing, please, God: the bread & cheese part sounds quite lovely but i really don't want to have to carry around any dead carcasses.

"All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give all of you into our hands." 1 Samuel 17:47

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Q is for Queens (and royal ladies)...

once upon a time there were two teen-aged girls who dreamed of royalty. on a hiking trip to windsor lake in colorado, they began to daydream. and somewhere along the way they left behind their ohio school girls and transformed from

jennifer to 'lady genevieve'

and from

wendy to 'lady gwendolyn.'the hike...the day...the vacation...all ended.

but about three decades later, lady genevieve and lady gwendolyn are still with us.our journeys have taken us back and forth across the country, we've worn many hats (no crowns). we've had ups. we've had downs. we've had our good hair days...and our bad. we've had lots of change of addresses...but one thing has never changed...

we love each other. and hope and dream for each other. we share our joys. we share our sorrows.

and today (okay, so i'm like five minutes early eastern time...but you WERE born in this time zone) i celebrate the birth of my baby sister, jennifer aka lady i was unpacking this afternoon i came across a big box of pictures...i decided to take a break.

i'll let you decide for yourself but quite honestly, i think that, like fine wine, we've improved with age LOL.

happy birthday sweet sister. i miss you. i love you. and i am hoping and praying that this year brings you joy. you deserve it. it's time. (and once again, God, please, if you're reading...hee hee...grant me a birthday wish for my sis...cut the girl some slack, k? thanks).

and now...a trip back in time...

every royal lady had a jessica mcclintock gunnesax dress :)

no pepsi for these princesses LOL

those are some high waisted shorts we've got on :)

i will NEVER forget this night with our foreign exchange you remember?

look, it's us...standing on the highway on the interstate near williamsburg, virginia (why???? LOL). diggin the colored socks :)

the era of the julia roberts pretty woman suits :)

THIS JUST IN: convicts escape women's prison and take denim clad babies with them. if seen, please call crime stoppers. they were last seen headed toward the levi strauss store...

apparently austin and i shared the same hairdresser? LOLOLOL

cruella and miss clavel (sp?) from madeline. i'm sure they would have been hanging out together??? hee hee.

if we are 'ladies' does that make our brother 'duke gregory?' i'm not up on my royal lingo.

carson is still convinced we're naked in this pic. thanks ever so much for having me wear a custom made maternity bustier. and thank you to your photographer for having me stand next to our barely there sister in law in the family photo. dude, don't mess with pregnant ladies in bustiers.

three pregnant sisters. fun, fun, fun!

and then that's as far as the pictures in the box know the rest...ohio, texas and beyond...

saying goodbye.

thank you so much for being who you are...for loving me for who i am. you challenge me, you provoke me, you make me laugh, you make me cry.

and so that i don't end on a sappy note, throwing in this picture just for fun. seriously one of the craziest nights i can remember in a long time. of course, i don't get out much ;)

happy, happy birthday lady genevieve. you ARE a treasure.


lady gwendolyn of windsor lake