hi. my name is wendy. and yes, i'm still alive :)

i started a new job. 
(half a year ago).
it's full time.
i love it. 
 but it's the first FULL TIME job i've had (aside from raising four kids which certainly goes BEYOND full time). anyhow, i've been a little busy so pardon my lack of blogging. 

this morning i ALMOST didn't go to church. i was tired. some obnoxious apartment dwellers across the courtyard decided to have a knock down drag out in the middle of the night. which resulted in carson & hudson climbing in bed with me. which resulted in me getting kicked, rolled over on, whacked by random arms...etc.

SO I WAS EXHAUSTED. and ALMOST blew it off.
glad i didn't. 
still a relatively new church for us.
i met the associate pastor one evening when i attended a dave ramsey course, carson & hudson in tow. he was really sweet and offered up his office (with cartoons on the tv) as a hang out for the boys. good guy. but i'd never heard him speak. until today.
and i have to say, WOW DUDE. great message. i'm glad i opted in. 

the message was entitled HARDWIRED: DISCOVERING THE ME YOU WERE CREATED TO BE.

and it started with THIS clip...TOTALLY worth watching if you haven't already seen it.
 

he went on to talk about two of my FAVORITE parts of the bible...and that's one big book (trust me, i went to christian high school and we had to memorize all the books in order from front to back...and i may or MAY not have cheated on my final exam in Bible class...and it's something that STILL haunts me. who CHEATS ON A BIBLE TEST???? uh, that would be me, who also received the highest christian character award at graduation. i'm sure that this is going to be shown on the big screen when i get to heaven...IF i get to heaven...i mean, I CHEATED ON MY BIBLE EXAM. lol).

anyhoooooooow... he spoke from psalm 139. my favorite chapter EVER in the bible. it helps me make sense of my life...my life that i'm pretty sure NO THERAPIST OUT THERE could ever FULLY help me make sense of LOL... how God knows who i am. and, um, i'm kind of complicated. majorly weird. and definitely not wired like the average bear.

anyhow, he also spoke on DAVID AND GOLIATH...and so much of what he shared brought me back (again...) to some thoughts i previously blogged about regarding little David and the GIANT that he was facing. God knows the giants i face. he knows my heart. he knows my thoughts (how he has ANY time for ANYONE ELSE at the rate my mind moves, i have no clue LOL). he knows my hopes. he knows my dreams. he knows me FULL WELL. and he loves me still. here's my previous blog from february 2011 regarding Davey & the Giant.

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(G is for GOLIATH, GIANT from GATH)...it's been awhile since i've read the story of david & goliath...but sunday i re-read it and was struck by some things in the story that give me some hope...some encouragement...as i face the giants in my own life.

here's a completely paraphrased version :) there's this huuuuge giant named goliath...he's almost ten feet tall. his armor alone weighs over 126 pounds. good golly. this is one tough dude, right? 

he starts picking on the israelites & wants one of them to have courage enough to fight him. if he wins, he & his posse own the israelites. but if they take HIM down, they get to be top dog.

meanwhile, there's this family whose mother was brave enough to have EIGHT boys (no telling how many girls were born in between those boys...hats off to her...can you EVEN imagine?).

a bunch of the brothers are off to war and are in the camp that is being challenged by the giant. david is the youngest. he stays home & helps his dad take care of the sheep...one day dad tells david that he wants him to take some cheese & bread down to the brothers & their commanders. when the father asked david, he set out to go RIGHT AWAY. he even was responsible enough to make sure someone took over his chores while he was gone...(doesn't sound much like the youngest around these parts LOL).

the giant has been taunting these guys for forty days when little david shows up. the brothers are annoyed by david's arrival and think he's shown up just for a front row seat to the blood & gore.

nope. instead, david goes to the head honcho & says he'll take the giant down...he's fought bears & lions to protect the sheep...he can handle this guy. the king thinks he's crazy but lets him. what do they have to lose, right? the king wants david to be safe and makes david put on his armor. it's waaay too awkward. david says NO WAY and goes & picks out five stones and goes off to fight goliath.

of course, the giant thinks this is laughable.
til david whacks him in the head with the very first rock.
down.
dead.
david uses goliath's own sword to cut the giant's head off.

and i'm a little grossed out by the fact that david totes that head around with him for the rest of the story...JUST LIKE A BOY. lol.

sooooooo, what on earth does this have to do with anything? well, several things struck me (not as hard as the rock that struck goliath...hee hee). 

when david's father asked him to run some food over to his brothers and check in on them, he DID IT. he didn't question his dad. he didn't whine...didn't grumble about the inconvenience of it. he just DID it.

he arrived JUST IN TIME. he got there RIGHT when he needed to. he THOUGHT he was going for a mundane task...but GOD KNEW that there was a purpose for this young boy.

his brothers rolled their eyes at him...they judged his motives...they questioned his judgement.

when david said he was going to step out and do this, others tried to give him their advice...tried to protect him...tried to get him to armor up...but what worked for THEM was AWKWARD for david...he was not comfortable in another man's armor...it wasn't who he was.

david took the things that came naturally to him and went with that. he knew who he was...what his strengths were...he took all that had been put into him over his lifetime and trusted that God would give him the strength and protection he needed. 

he knocked goliath out with the FIRST rock.
he was MORE than prepared for the task he had to do.
he went into the battle with everything he needed and MORE. 
MORE. 
he had MORE THAN HE NEEDED.
extra rocks!

this really speaks to me. we are facing this move...this HUGE HUGE HUGE move for our family, our kids...and i want to be more like david... i want to trust that God has prepared our family for this...that he KNOWS what we need...and that if we rely on HIM, that he will GET US WHERE WE NEED TO BE, at the time we need to be there, FOR THE PURPOSES HE HAS FOR US. and what works for some may not for others. we have background, history, that is personalized just for us. and we have to trust that the God who has brought us to this point is going to go before us on this next phase of the journey.

just one thing, please, God: the bread & cheese part sounds quite lovely but i really don't want to have to carry around any dead carcasses.

 "All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give all of you into our hands." 1 Samuel 17:47